Love and Loss
21 songs. Three acts. One relationship from the first night to the last.
I wrote this album to process my divorce — but I realized halfway through that it wasn't just about one relationship. It was about the pattern. The same cycle I'd been running since I was a kid. Meet someone, fall hard, lose yourself in it, watch it fall apart, blame yourself, repeat. Love and Loss is that loop captured in music.
The lyrics are simple on purpose. I use loops — short vocal hooks that repeat. If you don't know the words by the end of the song, I didn't do my job. I picked that up from rap. There's power in simplicity. A beat is a foundation you perform on top of. The emotion lives in the repetition.
Liner Notes
Track by Track
Act 1 — The Rush
Fun
“I don't want to fall in love, I just want to have some fun.”
This is before the relationship starts. Before any of it. Just going out with no expectations and no agenda. The last moment of being free before everything gets complicated.
Drown in It
“I like the way you're going down in it.”
Meeting a girl at a club. That first pull of attraction where you're not thinking about anything except what's right in front of you.
Devil
“I don't want to give you bad vibes, I'm the devil in disguise.”
You can sense the trouble. Something about this isn't going to end well and you already know it. But you go anyway. You always go anyway.
Time of Our Lives
“Let's make tonight the time of our lives.”
6am at a diner after the club. That feeling of the night stretching out and not wanting it to end. Just seeing where it goes.
Free My Soul
“Take me to a place where I can follow your sun.”
The first night together. I'll leave it at that.
Don't Wanna Fall
“Don't come back again, I don't wanna fall.”
This is the morning after. Strong feelings hit and you're overwhelmed by them. The instinct to pull away because you know how this ends. You know what falling means. And you don't want to fall.
Kick It
“I can't wait to kick it with you, can we do it every night?”
But you fall anyway. The relationship deepens. Every night together. Past the dating phase into something real.
Tracks
“Fear and excitement are two sides of the same coin.”
This is a deep cut. A friend of mine told me a story about growing up near a train. She used to sit and watch the trains come through — said it was exhilarating. She told me: fear and excitement are two sides of the same coin, and you can't live in fear. That one conversation fundamentally changed my life. I put it in a song because I needed to remember it.
444
Angel numbers. Synchronicity. That feeling when everything in your life is lining up and you're in the haze of happiness. You don't question it. You just float in it.
Act 2 — The Turn
Talking in My Sleep
“I've been talking in my sleep.”
This is where it starts. Not a fight, not a conversation — just a feeling. Something's wrong and your body knows it before your brain does. You're processing it in your sleep.
Every Night
“Every night, can't help but to worry that you don't feel the same.”
The anxiety arrives. Does she still feel the same? Are you imagining this? You start watching for signs and you can't stop.
Sirens
“Is this what it's like when love is gone?”
The cracks are showing. Sirens — police, ambulance — are the motif. Something is wrong. The alarm is going off but nobody's responding.
Over It
“I'm so over it, I can't do this no more.”
Walking out the door. The door slams. That's the end. There's nothing left to say.
For You
“It was for you.”
The immediate aftermath. Tears, anger, grief — all of it coming out at once. This one is raw. It's the first hours after the breakup when you're not okay and you're not pretending to be.
Alone
“I'm yours no more, and you're alone.”
Self-explanatory. You're alone. That's the whole song. That's the whole feeling.
Act 3 — The Descent
Leave Your Love Behind
“I don't want to leave your love behind.”
Big strings. Trying to let go and failing. You know you have to move on but your hands won't release.
Free Falling
“Free falling down the rabbit hole.”
The moment you let go — and realize there's no bottom. You're just falling. No plan, no safety net, no idea when you'll land.
Six Degrees
“I will find my way to you, six degrees of separation.”
Aggressive. Denial. The irrational conviction that somehow you can get back to her. You can't. But you haven't accepted that yet.
Note: the DSP release includes three additional tracks after Six Degrees — Searching, Uriel, and Reality. These tracks appear later in the canonical universe. The album works both ways — as a standalone with the spiritual resolution, or as the first act of a larger story that continues through Pandemic.